Hello.
I’m Valgeir, an award-winning person who is still alive, and not trying to sell you anything.
I made this website to make you think I’m a terribly Busy & Important person who’s done a lot of really clever things.
But also that I’m a friendly, relaxed and approachable guy that you should be totally comfortable to contact.
And it’s working, right now. You can feel it. Just close your eyes, and let it wash over you.
What can I tell you?
A guy who works at the New York Times once called me an “Icelandic maniac.” The Worldwide Chief Creative Officer of McCann once bought me a Gibson at Harry’s Bar. You once saw some ads that I made on New York City Subway, maybe, or in the Los Angeles Times. I once spent a couple of hours on the set of The Grand Budapest Hotel. I play a guy called Johan on the “Boy With a Problem” podcast. My name once appeared next to Elton John’s in The New Yorker. I once killed a man. No wait, that last bit isn’t true.
My attitude towards honest, nine-to-five work is well documented.
I diligently spend up to six hours a day making Business Poetry, a special kind of poetry the main purpose of which is to convince people to do things.
Things like download apps that tell you what’s going on, where to go, and how to get there; renew subscriptions that you definitely need; swipe left, right, up or down, depending on the circumstances; go to the symphony; travel to far away places in flying machines; run marathons even though it’s bad for your knees; invest in companies that are making the world a better place; apply for jobs with fancy titles at reputable design agencies; buy various goods and services; think happy thoughts; or just click here.
See what I did there?
I also dabble in something that I, with a completely straight face, like to call Business Alchemy. It’s very useful for companies that want to figure out how to position themselves so more people will find them, like them, invest in them, and apply for jobs with them.
I’m reasonably good at what I do. Just ask my fictional wife, or the various people I’ve worked with over the years, if you can find them.
Very funny.
Once I pretended to be an island, in a project that The Hairpin called “Iceland’s calculatedly modest PR rabbit hole,” and showed up in New York Magazine’s Approval Matrix. But that was a long time ago.
In the somewhat unlikely event that you have heard of me, it’s probably because I used to work with a agency called Ueno that was acquired by Twitter in 2020. Good times.
For my “friends” at Ueno, I mostly worked on the agency’s own voice, tone, words & things. I edited Ueno’s news, blog and newsletter, which people seemed to like. I also wrote more awards submissions and case studies than I care to remember. And sometimes I patiently debated with designers how pixels should appear on screens.
For Ueno’s advice column, I happily explained the magic of copywriting, the secrets behind brand voice and tone, and the hero’s journey of case studies.
Last, but also least, I worked with Ueno on branding, marketing, interface and naming projects for beloved firms such as Reuters, Waze, Visa, Copper, Clubhouse, and possibly some others whose names I may or may not be allowed to drop so cavalierly. (That’s a word, right?)
Mostly because Ueno was well liked, some other illustrious agencies have asked me to help them do things on the internet throughout the years, such as Ashfall, Belka, Humbleteam, Kei, Metalab, Nolie, Off-Menu and Together. God bless them all.
My views on awards are not a secret.
That has not stopped people from trying to give some of them to me.
What else?
I’m from Reykjavík, but I’ve spent the last 16 years living and working in Berlin, Copenhagen, Frankfurt, London, Paris, Prague, Rome and San Francisco.
Right now I’m living in Venice, like a character in an early 20th century novella.
If you ask me why I speak such good English, French, German and Danish, I will tell you that it helps being brought up by a series of European nannies, courtesy of your philandering anglophile father.
To increase my social standing and cultural capital, I occasionally engage in witty repartee with my “pals” on Twitter. I also occasionally post photos of gondolas on Instagram.
These days, the best way to reach me is probably a message on LinkedIn.
Why am I telling you all this?
Am I trying to impress you?
That depends.
Is it working?
Still here?
If you’re still reading this, I’m guessing you’re either a lawyer or someone who actually likes stuff like this. That’s a good start. Would you like a less annoying version, possibly with less nonsense and more details? Call now, our operators are standing by.